A long time ago, in what seems like another lifetime, I was just a lanky girl with braces who was supremely shy in any social setting.
Anyone who knows me now probably wouldn’t even be able to imagine this former version of myself.
You see, I am now what you might consider “inappropriate.”
At times, I am even vulgar, and I am usually at the center of a party, instead of hiding against the wall.
Over the years, I have become extremely comfortable with my dominating personality and fluid sexuality, and I appreciate experimentation.
I am the person who will always try something once, and I will never judge you for doing the same.
I am the woman who is sought out when people need advice on what kind of lingerie to buy, how to use sex toys or what the best song to play during a lap dance is.
Some call it slutty.
I call it empowering.
Back in the day — before I had seen genitalia other than my own — the idea of sex frightened me beyond belief.
I was never the coolest or the prettiest girl back then.
Due to my extreme insecurity, I was scared of sex because I was afraid it would be just another thing I wasn’t the best at.
However, the moment I let my first boyfriend swipe my V-card, something inside of me ignited.
I suddenly strutted instead of walked.
I spoke clearly instead of stumbling on my words.
I started wearing my clothes instead of letting them wear me.
I developed an aura that was undeniably confident.
The older I got, the more I became comfortable in my own skin.
I have even been called “overly sexual.”
But, I just think being able to explore your body is a gift. We should all take advantage of it.
If you feel uncomfortable with your sexuality or are unsure how to spice up your sex life, here’s my advice to you:
1. Don’t eliminate any options.
Just like some of us don’t like certain foods until we try them or grow old enough to appreciate them, I recommend never being the kind of person who says, “I would never do that.”
If you never try, you will never know.
Until “Fifty Shades Of Grey” was released, we did not realize there was such a huge community of women into BDSM.
They stayed hidden in the shadows.
But now, it’s become apparent that most of us ladies appreciate being dominated (at least occasionally).
2. Don’t be judgemental.
If someone likes something you consider too freaky, don’t judge him or her.
We all need to get off, and sexuality is not black and white.
All that matters is we find what takes us over the edge.
3. Don’t do anything for anyone else.
If you like someone, do not try something that you know makes you uneasy.
If every fiber of your being is saying, “Don’t do that,” don’t do it.
I don’t care how much you love someone and want to make his or her ultimate fantasy come to life.
Everyone has boundaries.
If you know in your heart that it will make you feel degraded, or if you know you will regret it in the morning, be blunt and refuse.
Don’t forget the fact “no” means “no.”
If the person doesn’t immediately lay off the idea, he or she is not worth the time and effort.
4. Be selfish.
More often than not, guys don’t wait for us to get to the finish line.
You need to make sure you take yourself there.
Stop worrying about him because if you are into it and on your way to climaxing, he’ll be into it.
There’s nothing sexier than a woman taking control.
5. Don’t set expectations.
Sex is never what you expect it to be.
You need to stop building it up in your head. Just let your body talk to you, and follow your instincts.
If something feels good, let your partner know.
But more importantly, let your partner know if something doesn’t feel good.
Sex can be a wonderful bonding experience if you vocalize what you want and don’t want.
That guy you really like as a person can become a deviant himself if you just show him the way.
Take others under your wing, and guide them toward the orgasmic light.
Maybe I sound slutty, but I don’t care.
I am a sexual person. Actually, I’m a sexual goddess.
I do not live by rules or society’s unrealistic standards for women.
My body is my own, and I treat it like the temple of ecstasy.
Surely God would not have given me the ability to climax multiple times if he did not intend me to be this way.
I am a woman who loves to be embraced.
I feed off passion and find that life is more fulfilling when I have a lover who doesn’t believe in a spectrum.
I love to ride that wave until we are both breathless, satisfied and spent
